My Bestfriend lost her Brother?
Topic: How to write a story about thanksgiving
July 17, 2019 / By Anakin Question:
ok my bff lost her brother and shes in bad shape i've tried to comfort her but she jus keeps crying and saying "why why why why him he wasnt suppose to die" and it makes me cry cuz i wanna tell her to stop crying but how can i i mean its her brother and now everytime im trying to tell her to plz stop and trying to cheer her up crying im speechless idk wat else to say and seeing her sad is making me misserable so plz ppl give me the best advice you got i really need it plz..........
thx guys and girls ima do everything yaw said yaw really helped.....
Best Answers: My Bestfriend lost her Brother?
Topsey | 3 days ago
Sorry to hear your friends news, its very sad when someone dies young.
And its normal and OK for her to be upset, its part of the grieving process. Here is some advice from a website about the subject.
* allow them their feelings rather than trying to talk them out of the feelings or tell them they shouldn't feel that way.
* let them be how they are instead of trying to judge or fix them.
* let them know that you can see and hear their pain, anger, frustration, guilt and that you think it's okay for them to have those feelings.
* let them tell you how they feel rather than telling them that you know how they feel.
* talk to them from your perspective rather than using cliches such as, "It was their time." You might say something like, "It's hard to understand why these things happen." or "I can see you are really hurting."
* be honest. If your grieving friend asks you for information that you have, tell them the truth.
* share stories about the person who died. Something funny or a wonderful memory can be a very positive experience.
* be patient with them. Give them space and time to do their grieving. However, it is usually difficult for grievers to reach out because of low energy and difficulty concentrating. Calling them and initiating getting together for coffee and a chat is very helpful.
* know that it may seem that they are being inconsiderate of your feelings for awhile. Don't be too offended. They may be feeling overwhelmed and not aware of what is going on for other people around them.
* talk about the person who died in a natural way. Don't avoid the topic but don't go on and on about it either. It helps to share memories, even if your friend cries or is sad. They appreciate that someone will talk to them about the person who died.
* provide food, run errands, mow the lawn, clean the house, take over a job they don't have the energy to do. Call and ask if you can do a specific job. Don't wait for them to call.
* send a card with a personal message and memory about the person who died. Write a poem or find one that is meaningful for you.
* remember throughout the year - Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, the anniversary of the death, family holidays - that it will be difficult for your friend. Send a card or tell them you are thinking about them.
* accept that your friend's life will never be the same again. Your friend will be changed by this experience.
* accept that your grieving friend will never get over it. There may always be a place of pain and sorrow in their hearts. They need you to help them find a way to live with the death of someone they love.
Hope that helps.
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Originally Answered: My bestfriend's mom hates me?
I had the same exact problem. My best friends mom hated me for seriously NO reason. And i tried everything but nothing worked. finally i decided to just write her a simple note and tell her what i thought. my best friend gave it to her, and her mom decided to look past everything she thought of me and approve of me because i told her what i thought and what really going on. & she wasn't gonna keep me from my best friend.
I think that the best way to help him is to let her know that if she ever needs anything he shouldn't hesitate to call you. Right now, she probably just needs someone to lean on for emotional support. Maybe you could try and take her mind off of things, make her laugh (ie, memories of her and her brother that will make her laugh) give her all the support she needs and tell her you will always be here to help her. it will take time for the crying to stop but trust me, soon she will calm down. The same thing happened to my best friends, it worked. When she says "Why him he wasn't meant to die" just comfort her. Hope this helps x
👍 90 | 👎 -5
It's hard when someone loses a person they love. So, give her some time alone or maybe just be there for her. You don't really need words to comfort people sometimes, just being there for them is good enough. Try to understand her situation, cheer her up by not mentioning things concerning her brother or just do things that she likes to do. Tell her that she still have people who care for her and that life goes on... She might be over it in a while. Good luck...
👍 88 | 👎 -13
Well i completely understand how you feel, frustrated, helpless, and worried. my husband lost his brother in february. very unexpectedly, my husband cried for days and days all i could do was make sure he knew i was here for him, he went through different stages, sadness, grief, anger and then guilt over and over again. there really is no real answer to this, just be there, be a shoulder to cry on. its been six months and he still will have days when its overwhelming for him they were really close. perhaps you could take to her family and ask them if there is anything you could do for them that would help, just being there and being supportive to not only her but her family is the greatest help you can give. Good luck to you. stay strong its hard and its ok for you to cry also.
👍 86 | 👎 -21
All you can do is be there for her, when she is upset then make sure you are by her side and that she knows that she does not have to go through it alone. Loosing a loved one is never an easy time and emotions will be high but in time she will start to cope with it. Until then, just be there, if she needs to cry then let her.
Fair play to you for trying to look out for her.
👍 84 | 👎 -29
Originally Answered: Something is wrong with my autistic brother. he tried choking my other brother?
This must be really difficult for you...
I work with Autistic children and one of my students had a similar problem. He has a behavior issue that is becoming worse because of his life at home. My honest opinon is that you should go to the cops. I know you don't want to because you think it will ruin your life. However, by not going to the cops you are endangering the lives of your family members.
However, if you will not go to the cops then you need to have a different approach. You need to restrain him when he acts up. When he starts hurting people you need to kneel on his shins and hold his arms behind his back. DO NOT HURT HIM! That hold is designed to only cause pain if he starts trying to fight back. He would be hurting himself, do not try to hurt him. It will only prove to him that it is ok to hurt others.
You are right to hide those games. Try to find games that are not violent. He doesn't understand that doing those things is wrong. He does not understand the difference between those games and reality. Try to find educational games on the web. Not boring games, just puzzle games.
You have a lot to do. I'm sorry that you have been forced into this situation and I wish you luck in solving this problem.Do what you feel is right.