How to let my husband know that he is abusing me?
Topic: How to write a love letter to your husband
June 17, 2019 / By Asshur Question:
My husband is a diagnosed psychopath and doesn't understand empathy or the feelings of others. He has been off medication since we were married last year. Sometimes he will beat me profusely and then tell me something like "love ya, babe! off to work. i'll see ya when I get off!" and then he'll just walk out the front door with a smile on his face as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, I am battered and bruised from his indifferent violence. When I try to talk to him about how he treats me he just nods along but I don't think the message is actually getting to him. I have tried drawing pictures, writing letters, demonstrations with dolls, illustrations in movies and television, and I have even tried hitting him like he hits me, but he just hits me back harder. I feel like I am in a disadvantaged position. I love my husband, but the way he beats me makes me think twice about our marriage. If I mention going back on medication he just beats me until I can't speak. I have tried talking to him about marriage counseling but he just continues to beat me. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. What can I do to get through to him?
Best Answers: How to let my husband know that he is abusing me?
Verina | 5 days ago
Just dont worry, this condition of your husband is very much normal. He enjoys sex with you and beating shows his manliness to you. He loves you very much and cares for you. After sometime you will also start enjoying the beating.
👍 118 | 👎 5
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Originally Answered: My stepmother is abusing me, what do I do?
I do not know where to start.
The "n" word is not to be used as a defense mechanism
against the woman that your father loves.
She married him out of love, and despite that fact that she
was going to have to help raise his teen daughter.
She accepted you, and you have done nothing but:
1. Get poor grades
2. Call her racist names
3. Focus on a man you are too young to date
4. Smoke cigarettes
If you fail school...your parents will lose nothing.
You on the other hand will have to marry someone to
support you, because nobody is going to give you a job.
If the police find out you are with a 19 yr old and that any
inappropriate contact has taken place...he will be arrested
and labeled a sex offender. Nobody would want to rent him
a place to live or give him a job.
If you got pregnant by him...Well you know the outcome of
having a child with an offender who cant work.
If you refuse to stop using the "n" word...not many people
are going to want to associate with you, etc..
You have put yourself in a bad position. Only you can change
the outcome of this situation.
Your father can file you unruly with the court and send you to
juvenile or foster, so I would consider my options if I were you.
Making the wrong decisions could get you into a lot more trouble.
I'm sorry you're going through that situation, but the law is for the "law breakers". The law is Not for people that obey the law, it is strictly for people that break the law. When a husband "beats" his wife that's "breaking the law."
I'm sorry, I know there is a "thin line" between love and hate, but nobody beats anyone that they love. Your words, "Sometimes he will beat me profusely and then tell me something like "love ya, babe! off to work. i'll see ya when I get off!" and then he'll just walk out the front door with a smile on his face as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, I am battered and bruised from his indifferent violence."
Your words, "I feel like I am in a disadvantaged position. I love my husband, but the way he beats me makes me think twice about our marriage. If I mention going back on medication he just beats me until I can't speak."
It's a very thin line between love and hate, and that why we have the police. "If you love me, show me, don't beat me." Sorry, I don't "see" the love. If the meds are doing this, somebody may have to force the meds on him before something really bad happens to you.
Remember, the law is for the "law breakers". Sometime talk is cheap and action speaker louder than words. You may have to dial 911. One second of" beating" is to much, sounds like you have been in this for more than a second.
👍 40 | 👎 -3
Why would you want to be with a person who beat you all the time? Don't you think you deserve better? He obviously needs help and you need to leave him and when you are gone call him and tell him that you will not come back unless he gets help and you see he is better. He needs his Meds. or sorry to say he might kill you. What is more important? You loving him so much or your life. Do you have kids? Because this will definitely affect them. Wow, that's awful. I know you love him but love your self also. Get out of there ASAP! And like you said you cant tell him because he'll beat you. Maybe try to set up a camera and tape him but make sure you are out of the house when he see's the tape. Good Luck and God Bless you!
👍 36 | 👎 -11
I know that love can and usually will make you overlook the faults of those we adore. But, when those faults inflict personal injury to you or your children, injury- mental and physical- then several things should be addressed.
1. Where am I in the picture? What is it within you that allows you to believe that his behavior toward you is acceptable in any form. I'm sure you may say you didn't feel that way but apparently you do. You are beaten to the point you can't speak or are afraid to do so and then you think, "If I explain this to him it will get better." It will not get any better.
The psychopathic condition does not allow him empathy. But, it does not limit their intelligence or their ability to know what is socially or legally right and wrong unless it is so severe he cannot function in the norms of civil society. Which in that case you MUST have him committed. But, it appears this guy has a job and knows- in general- right from wrong. He knows not to drive on the wrong side of the street on his way to work, and to perform the tasks on his job in which he was hired to undertake. Yet, when he comes home to you, he flogs you.
This is because he knows logically out in the 'world' these actions are not acceptable. But, with you they are. You are literally his punching bag that he uses to relieve daily stress. This not fair to you nor to him. You have allowed him to feel that it is OK to do behave this way against you.
The question is what is it in your pattern of thought and within you growth as a symbiont human that allows you to not do what is needed for self preservation. Even dogs, bird, and monkeys do it. Even plants and insects attempt to disallow others to bring them harm.
2. Why do you hide the facts from yourself?
You know that this man knows he is hurting you. You can comprehend that if he is mature enough to reason well enough to handle a job, interactions within the workplace, traffic, sex, he is mature enough to use logic to know that aggressively laying your hands on someone in anger is painful to that person and abuse. Again I say most psychopaths are not stupid.
3. Will allow him to kill you before you decide you are worth more and deserve better in your life. Leaving him would most definitely help you in the short and long run. There is help out there for you.
www.abusedwoman.com/ , 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7, www.abusedwomen.org , www.ndvh.org , www.awap.org , www.socdev.gpg.gov.za/shelters_abused , 800-662-HELP (4357 , 800-795-5486
Read this carefully, if you are being hit by this man no matter how many times he says I love you know this - ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!
You are not alone and there is help from every angle for you. You must 1st make a move for your well being. I will be praying for you.
👍 32 | 👎 -19
Originally Answered: Im not sure but I think my dad is verbally abusing me and my sister.?
Where is your mom when your dad is yelling at you and your sister like this? Why doesn't she stop him or try to control the situation? Sounds to me like your dad needs some anger management classes.He needs to learn how to control his temper.Try to get the family involved in some kind of counseling..Hope this helps...