Issues with mother-in-law and smoking around baby.?
Topic: Research paper about smoking addiction
June 17, 2019 / By Avon Question:
I have one argument with this woman about smoking around my baby (still unborn) A lot of the family smokes, so I told her "for future reference, I don't want any one smoking around the baby..." This implied everyone.... she took it as me telling her what she can and cannot do, and now it is a huge argument.
It should be common sense not to smoke around my baby - but his family can be selfish and ignorant and think it cannot harm him.
She asked me "why would you think anyone would do that anyway?" well... because ever since I have ben pregnant, no one has made moves to keep any smoke away from me... and her rebuttal to that was that I am a grown woman and I made the decision to be around it. So, basically, I am not to ride in the car with a smoker (which means I always have to drive separate) I can't be at any family parties (smoke everywhere)...
What should I do? I just got into a fight with my fiance this morning about it, and I feel so stuck.
I would also like to add, that we are around his family CONSTANTLY. We live right down the block from his mother's so, we are ALWAYS there.
Best Answers: Issues with mother-in-law and smoking around baby.?
Vivien | 4 days ago
Do some research on second hand smoke, print it and give it to her. THEN, tell her that babies who are around second hand smoke have a higher incidence of ear infections than those who are not. She should also know that it can cause asthma (a life-threatening event each time an attack occurs); the smoke causes blood flow issues in pregnancy and could cause brain damage and other birth defects to the baby. Ask her if she wants the grandbaby to be sick all the time or brain damaged.
Give her several copies of this information and ask her to distribute it to other family members, that way she can't come back and say you are picking on her.
The fact is, she's a smoker and apparently so is most of the family. You knew what you were getting into and if it really is a big deal to you, then you must weigh your options...either don't go to functions or be around family OR leave. These people have an addiction and most people with an addiction are not willing to give it up. ----here's another option, you and your fiancee move way out of town, then there's no friction because being at functions or around her won't happen often.
Now, get started on your paper...Here's a really good site, short and to the point:
http://www.entnet.org/healthinfo/tobacco... (I would just print this one up, then do more research to drive home the facts.)
👍 156 | 👎 4
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Originally Answered: OLTL Fans: Is the lady who wants to adopt Star's baby a shady character or good for the baby?
Marcie is considered a hero on the show, she's the good character. Basically what happened was this: Marci and her husband Michael got married three or four years ago and soon discovered that Marci could not get pregnant. After giving up hope of ever having a child, a tornado ripped through town (actually during their wedding) and left a baby that they found without parents. This baby was given to them as a foster child and they eventually legally adopted it. This baby they named Tommy McBain. What they and viewers at the time did not know was that this baby that they LEGALLY adopted was really Sam Manning, the presumed dead child of Todd Manning.
Todd had been raped by pyscho Margaret Cochran and he had planned on killing her and the child because he was in love with Blair and wanted nothing to do with Margaret's child. Well after a lot of circumstances it turns out Margaret did not die by Todd's hand, she had been kidnapped by Spencer Truman (another sicko on the show)---anyways after a lot of complicated stuff happend Margaret ended up dead and the baby presumed dead too (we later learnt that Spencer killed Margaret after she gave birth and gave her baby up for adoption to a shady baby brokering business so it would get horrible parents)---anyway this baby's parents died in the tornado and Marcie and Michael adopted it not knowing who it was.
It was revealved early last year (after almost two years) that Tommy McBain was really Sam Manning. After a court case Todd despite his past crimes (he is a convicted rapist and murderor) was given custody of his son. Marcie went nuts not wanting to give up the child she had grown to love as her own son and kidnapped the baby and went on the run. She ended up taking Viki Davidson hostage in an attempt to keep the child. After all this Todd got his son back.
Well, Todd being Todd acted without repsonsobility and got into a car accident w/Sam in the car (in the front seat w/out a car seat) and has lost custody of the child. Blair, his ex-wife now has temporary custody of the child.
Now, Starr is Todd's daughter and is pregnant with Cole's baby. she wants to give Marcie her baby to make up for all the pain and suffering Todd inflicted on Marcie (Had todd been compassionate to Marcie and Michale she may never have run off and the whole situation may have ended differently). Michael having seen the hurt and pain todd inflicted on them the last time is oppossed to the idea of adopting Todd's grandchild and has told Marcie that she can either stay married to him or presue the adoption. Marcie has chosen to presue the adoption and does not want to give up her chance to have a child.
So in short: Marcie is the good guy here. Todd is evil, Starr is trying to do something nice and we want Marcie and Michael to get the baby.
If she truly cares about the health of her grandchild, she'll come around, this shouldn't even BE an issue. I hope you don't allow smoking in your house when they visit. Maybe if you have a heart to heart with her, or if you have your fiancee have a heart to heart with her,(if he will) then she will see how really important it is. It's amazing to me how many people can still be so ignorant about the effects of 2nd hand smoke.
Let her know this stinks. She stinks, the car stinks, the house stinks, everything that you get from them stinks.
You also have to consider when (if you let her) she babysits for you, will she smoke then? Yes. Will she smoke in the car with your baby in the back seat? Yes.
My parents and some other family still choose to smoke. Most of them make an effort to not smoke around my daughter, they smoke under a fan, like the one over the stove, which barely helps, but I appreciate the effort. Or, they go the hell outside! They don't smoke in my car or my house, and wouldn't think about trying!
Good luck, and this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but if you and your fiance aren't on the same page about this, and the child isn't even born yet, what else will you not agree about when raising this child together? You should both agree on health issues for sure!
👍 60 | 👎 -4
Let them know hey i don't mind u smoking but please do it in a different room or wont u just change rooms. Because the baby and even u is in harm. u from 2nd hand smoke which causes cancer and the baby can get anything from asthma , ear infections ,etc. Be careful and wait a hour before u bring ur baby back in the room. And also be aware that smoking to much around a pregnant woman can cause early labor so be very careful and good luck and i wish u and ur family the best good luck on the pregnancy.And if u know their not going to stop u do whats best for u and ur child.
👍 57 | 👎 -12
Oh boy, I do feel for you. I am sorry that this situation happened. I am going to share my honest opinion about this situation. I agree with you TOTALLY, but I think that the way you presented it-..."For future reference, I don't want anyone smoking around the baby."-I know that I would turn you off immediately, just the way you presented it. Also, perhaps you could get your fiance on your side, so it will be "we" from now on, not "I' (meaning just you), so they will listen. Unfortunately, they are your in-laws, not your immediate family and their first allegiance is to your fiance, not you. Some families make this more of an issue than others. Have you shopped around for a pediatrician for your baby yet? If not, you should, and bring your fiance. Talk to the pediatrician about smoking around the baby. Have your fiance hear how bad it is for anyone, especially an infant. Along those lines, bring your fiance with you to your OB/GYN appts. Talk to that doctor about it too, and have your fiance hear it there too. You are not being unreasonable, good luck with this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
👍 54 | 👎 -20
This is a give and take sort of issue. You can put your foot down and absolutely disallow any smoking in your home, and your car. At family gatherings, even at a smoker's house, they should butt-out for the sake of your baby. However, since it is their house, you may just have to suck it up and not go. Same goes for riding separate. I know it stinks, I know they're being stupid because their smoke DOES pose a health risk not only to you, but to your unborn baby. But, you can't control what other people do.
We have the right not to smell their smoke, but at the same time, they have the right to smoke.
You're just going to have to be as stubborn as them. Call it the mama-tiger instinct. It is YOUR personal responsibility to protect your child.
👍 51 | 👎 -28
Originally Answered: Smoking pot before getting pregnant. bad?
Those pictures and defomities may have occured because of drugs, but I can tell you that pot does not produce flipper babies. While smoking pot may or may not be something that is recommended, it will not effect your babies development in the future if you so choose to have one. Infact, the effects of pot during pregnancy are not nearly as bad as the effects of cigarette smoking or alchohol during pregnancy. What happens is that there is a risk for a low birth rate and possible attention disorders later on in life. There is talk about 'withdrawl', but there's no such thing as marajuana withdrawl. So, don't smoke pot while pregnant, but jeez, they must really be putting kids through a brain washing scare fest to be showing you pictures like that. Anyway, to answer your question, if you don't smoke very often (and most pot smokers don't) you'll be fine. If you start smoking pot daily, your fertility may be at risk. Enjoy!