My wife is lazy, what can I do?
Topic: Kids writing prompts to write about
June 17, 2019 / By Beau Question:
My wife and I have been married for almost 4 years. About 9 months ago she quit her job when her daughter started school because between travel, work, and childcare expenses we were losing money with her working. She started out doing well with the stay at home mom idea, kept the house decently clean and keeping the kid focused and well behaved. The last 5 months though she has become lazy. I am working almost 70 hours a week in a new job and just keeping us barely afloat and she won't even do the dishes, laundry, or keep a decent eye on the child. She didn't do dishes for 4 weeks and finally i did them because I couldn't take it anymore. The child runs rampant and has become a discipline problem both at home and school. Anytime I try to make her behave I am verbally assaulted. The child's father has never been in her life and she has always called me dad. I have raised her since she was a year old and try my best to be a good father to her. My wife recently has gotten out of hand with her behaviors as well. She has a history of abusing prescription pain killers and recently fell back off the wagon. I have had it up to here with her behavior, but I know if I leave then the child will be screwed. Her mother doesn't cook anymore she just orders take out or tv dinners. She doesn't seem to care if the child is in school most of the time ( the child is 5 ) or the fact that the child isn't developing her reading skills. I have on more than one occasion threaten to call the school and tell them she is missing because her mother is lazy which prompted her to take the kid. Bottom line if I leave the kid gets screwed and according to a lawyer I spoke with I have no legal rights to take her. Her bio father is a complete deadbeat and my in-laws are of very little to no support. They don't have alot of contact with my wife except when it is convenient to them. My mother thinks I should just leave and wash my hands of the whole thing and my grandmother says to tough it out. My dad and I haven't been speaking lately due to another issue. My wife also keeps us broke because of her spending habits and doesn't seem to understand that paying rent is not a gratuity. I found out she hadn't paid in two months after she told me she had and wound up spending our tax return paying rent instead of putting tires and brakes on the car. She has been so bad she is actually going to court over a bounced check on an account I closed 6 months before she wrote the check. What should I do?
Best Answers: My wife is lazy, what can I do?
Zipporah | 4 days ago
tell her parents that you are leaving and they will be responsible for the child. then go to child protective services and let them know you are leaving and cannot afford a custody fight over a child not your biologically. give them a viva written description of what goes on when you are not home including the fact that the child is not fed or bathed properly and cannot read. then go to the school and suggest the child should be tested for learning disabilities. also tell the school the child is not in school because her mother will not take her while you work 70 hours a week. then file for divorce. at first I was thinking depression and felt bas for her but when I got to the pain pill part as far as I am concerned - pain pill abusers are about the lowest of the low. i'd call the cops without telling her and invite them into the house and take them to her stash and ask them to arrrest her. I'd also give them the names of any and every body you think is supplying her drugs including any doctors she is faking out. finally, talk to another attorney and look on legal websites. Make sure her entire family knows that if they do not step up, the child will enter foster care and your wife will go to jail. God I hate Rx abusers. ANother idea is to write a letter to her entire family, aunts, uncles, siblings, parents and tell them what she is doing. tell them her chances of overdose are high so while she is still alive, you need to get straight who expects what. When she dies from an overdose - who is going to take the child and who is qualified. Get a consesuse form her family without her input. Make a huge stink about her impending death from pain killers. Get some charts and news articles about it and send them. Squeak squeak squeak. Also, get life insruance quote for enough money to raise the child and put her through college (at least $250K - more if possible) and then send a bill to ALL family members stating that because she is much more likely to dies from overdose, whoever ends up with the kid is going to need the insurance money and until it happens and the courts get involved who knows who it will be? Good luck to you. At first I thought you were cold but drug abusers are just too much. That poor little girl.
A positive suggestion would be if you have on the job health insurance, get her into an inpatient drug shelter and don't let her come home until she is clean. You have a lot more power than you think. If you live in Florida, you can call the cops and say she is a danger to herself and the child when you are at work and they will put her in the mental ward for 3 days to evaluate her. That would be a step in the right direction.
Also, why is she paying the bills??? SHe is not competent to parent or handle money! Address these issues now please. Good luck
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Originally Answered: My Girlfriends son is lazy need help?
i think first the kid's crazy. but you should talk to a counselor and see how you can help him with his anger issues and your girlfriend being weak. he knows he can get away with murder and he has since he was 8. if he refuses to go to therapy, then you should have the therapist come to your house. set up surveillance cameras and show a police officer or child services or the therapist.
have a dog break his xbox or take it away from him. tell him that you are going to take it away for a month, or until he gets back in school or grabs a job. but he also might seriously have a menal disorder. get a doctor for a house call, and get him a check-up. your girlfriend is weak, and if she doesn't stand with you on this, she won't or anything. so good luck :)
.My friend this is a tall order and you have to search your heart for what is indeed the right thing for you and your family.
Your wife may have some other issues going on and you are only seeing the byproduct of this situation.
If you love her then this is the hard part of the “for better or worse” part of the marriage.
Family counseling sounds like an option you may need to explore before you make a final decision on what you should do.
👍 110 | 👎 -4
It sounds like your wife is suffering from DEPRESSION! She went from being a working woman to a house wife. Being a housewife is not for everybody. Some people need to feel they are making a contribution to the world. Instead of trying to figure out why she's lazy and debating if you should leave or stay you should remember those vows you made to God - for better or for worse! Try communicating with your wife. At least try to help her before you turn your back on her.
👍 107 | 👎 -12
listen to your mother, depending on where you live if you can prove all of this you can take custody of your step-daughter, it seems you're only staying for her (which by the way is VERY admirable) If you can't you HAVE to leave, all she's doing is bringing you into a downward spiral of well I'll give it 3 months and you'll have to file for bankruptcy.
👍 104 | 👎 -20
I will recomend you to join a church group , cause is cheaper than therapy this help her deal with her behaviors .And two keep the money in your personal banking account and do yourself all the payments .Keep track accountings and just give her for the food .But most important show character with her make it clear irrated and mad and she totally losing it not yelling cause she may cry.
👍 101 | 👎 -28
Originally Answered: Lazy husband?
I am sorry to have to be honest where it may sound like I am a you-know-what about this,but this is what I would do if it were me! I would take the children and I would seek a divorce NOW! I am sorry if saying this upsets you,but do you really want your children to grow up thinking that it is okay to live in such filth and to have such disrespect and disregard towards women?
I am sorry,but I wouldn't put up with it I would leave and find another home for me and the kids,because what this guy is doing is crap,pure and simple! He says he lost the notes that you wrote for him of the things that you would like him to do,yeah right! It is because he doesn't want to have to grow up and act like a responsible adult by helping you out around the house and with the kids too! How much effort does it take to pick up the house,do dishes,laundry or sweep around the house?
I am sorry,but I would not tolerate this,and I would get out of this marriage now,because it is plain as day that he doesn't care about you or your children by the way he is acting. You can keep leaving him note after note about what you would like to him to do,but he will not do it because he is acting like a rebel in the sense that NOBODY TELLS HIM WHAT TO DO and it sounds like you can't tell him what to do either!
I don't know what the circumstances are as to why he doesn't work,but I can tell you one thing,I would tell him,"You need to get up off your lazy BEEEP and find a BEEEP BEEEP right now,or else the children and I ARE GONE AS OF RIGHT NOW!" Of course he will think you are joking or just overreacting about the messy house,but YOU HAVE TO STAND YOUR GROUND ON THIS ONE!! I would be VERY BLUNT with him and tell him that if he doesn't want to be a REAL MAN and a REAL FATHER to these kids,than you will find somebody who does!
I know this sounds really harsh honey,but if you don't stand your ground RIGHT NOW,this crap will just keep happening day after day after day,UNTIL YOU SHOW HIM THAT YOU ARE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!! Good Luck and PLEASE think about the children and what kind of a negative influence that he is being on them!! ((Hugs and Good Luck))